It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
