Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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