I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Even my vagina gasped.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
