You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
