Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think your dad took our porno
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
