school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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