Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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