I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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