I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Damn victory sex feels great
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