Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your penis caused this!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
