I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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