As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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