How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
