this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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