using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
