Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
whose parrot is this?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
