There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That reminds me...we need to get swords
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
