ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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