i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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