found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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