dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize