the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
