Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
