You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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