I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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