We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize