Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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