I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize