you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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