with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
