Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
