what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
