Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
