ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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