If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
