Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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