chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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