I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize