Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize