That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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