he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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