I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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