i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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