Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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