Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
