Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
