I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
