he puts the penis in happiness.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
either way he was missing a nipple.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
