When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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