she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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