So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
