what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
