I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize