entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
