life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there is puke in my bra ... again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
