I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
