who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
