you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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