Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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