Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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