Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
