What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
