we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize