normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
