this will be a night to untag.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
