There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
