are you still at the devil's house?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
