allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
