sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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