Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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