I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i believe in u and ur pee
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
