I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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