You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
